Watched Chuck today, gave K a ride to work, played Harry Potter with my aunt, and then went to Applebee's to eat with K when he got off work. We talked for a while, and, well, he realized something that I guess I hadn't really realized myself. Or he helped me realize it, I suppose.
Um. Man, I'm nervous to write about this. xD
Well, K was asking me questions, trying to figure out why I don't *like* him, I guess. So he asked if he was attractive, and I said something like, "Well yeah, you're attractive and nice and outgoing, but I'm weird. I'm more attracted to shy, nerdy guys... like B."
He was a little taken aback, and was like, "What?! Seriously?! You could have said any name, why..." and then he stopped and his eyes got really wide.
Now, I was biting my fingers, 'cause I do that when I'm nervous. So he grabbed my hands and made me stop.
"You have feelings for B that you're not telling anyone about, don't you?!"
I'm sure I was bright red by this point. I stuttered some protests, but I was thinking about it, and... well it kind of made sense. I keep his Facebook chat window open all the time, even when he's offline. The only other person on that exclusive list is A. Plus I always look forward to talking to him. And... there was that dream last night. (shifty eyes face that blogger won't let me do)
Anyway, point is, I think I have a little bit of a crush on B. My plan for now is to go slow. D: (oh gosh i'm so nervous typing this) Maybe go on some dates. Try to get him to quit smoking, or at least cut back. xD
Slow slow slow. I don't want to mess it up. But like I told B back when I told him we should just be friends, I usually fall for guys I'm friends with. xD And well. Slow should work. B and I are both kind of shy. xD (seriously my heart is pounding so nervous)
(well, and see, there's more proof. I'm actually feeling nervous. xD)
Now, this does not mean in any way that I don't still have crushes on A&W. But A has made it explicitly clear that he doesn't return the feelings in the least, and W has a girlfriend. And if I have crushes on all three of them and two of them are unavailable, I think I should probably go with the available one. xD Just maybe.
Plus he talks to me more than A, W, and K put together. xD And when I say talk, I mean really talk about things. Intelligent conversation. Hooray!
(seriously my fingers are shaking) (why does it make me so nervous?)
I don't want him to be hurt if this is another false-alarm-Audrey-maybe-liking-a-guy. Which is why I need to go slow. So I can make sure of my feelings before anything too serious happens.
So anyway, yeah. That's going around in my head right now. Hahahahaha. I'm going to be awake forever! :D
I love insomnia. (sarcasm)
(and yeah, B is going to read this. probably that's why I'm so nervous. ahaha)
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