Don't Wanna Reach For Me, Do You?

Yeah, I basically just don't know anymore. Talking to B is proving helpful though. He just gets things that most people don't. It's always nice to have someone who understands.

I don't know what it is about my brain, but for some reason I can never stop thinking about dates. Like, I think "Oh, a year ago today, C and I were doing this." And it kills.

Speaking of, I was already in a terrible mood this morning, I woke up late and didn't shower so I had a beanie on, and a huge coat, and basically looked gross. And who should I happen to run into around a corner? Yeah, C. I saw him, he saw me, we looked at each other for a split second, and then continued walking in opposite directions.

I wonder if he could see how lifeless my eyes were. I wonder if he even cared.

So of course my pulse jumps about 100 bpm, and I can't calm down for all of class. Seeing him is just... a very strange rush. Hatred, longing, attraction (even now), revulsion, pity, curiosity. All of them just jump to the front of my mind.

I wonder if he could tell I'd been crying.

5 down, 23 to go.