Fantastic Sams

Okay, what's with that place's name? Are there many Sams? Are they all fantastic?

Anyway, yeah! I got my hair cut!



See? Don't I look cute?! Basically, I love it. And I totally messed with the contrast on that one picture. xD

Plus it'll be totally perfect for my Halloween costume. Team Rocket FTW!

Anyway, who cares about boys? <.<;

Also, Z has requested that Ky be called OO so they can be ZOO. So that works for me. xD

Hair

Whoa, I have two followers. Z and his girlfriend Ky. Unless she has a nickname she wants to go by. xD

So, I think I'm going to cut my hair short again. The only thing that's really stopping me is that nearly all of the boys I've talked to are like, "No, keep it long! It looks better long!"

Well. Here's the deal, guys. The first guy to say that to me was C. He asked me to grow my hair out after a particularly bad haircut.

I haven't cut it since.

Now I'm starting to feel like I really need to cut it. I don't even know what to do with it when it's long, I just pull it back into a ponytail all the time. So basically, I might as well cut it. And I kind of want to.

I'm just sick of all the boys being like, "NOOOOOOO!!!" like it's some terrible calamity for a girl to have short hair.

Coincidentally, A doesn't care if a girl has short hair or long. That makes it a little easier to cut it, even though he's not even interested in me anyway.

Anyway, sweet Halloween party on Saturday! I'm getting psyched!

P.S. Here are some pictures of hair so you can decide for yourself.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG HAIR IS LONG.



Short hair is short. (P.S. I look gross in this picture. xP)

Anyway, vote away. All three readers I have. xD

I Dreamed I Was Missing

Well, looks like someone else found this blog. That brings the total up to.... two. xD I've mentioned going to parties at my friend Nick's house. He has discovered this blog and would like to be called Z. Like Zorro. Or something. So that's that. He's Z now.

So, I have weird dreams all the time. Usually I wake up from them... not so happy. But whatever. Just dreams.

Um, so I think N is mad or hurt or something, because he hasn't been texting me back. So I guess I'll have to deal with that at some point. :/ I really hate hurting people, but I don't really want to be with someone that I feel is more friend material.

Still haven't won an argument against A. He was complaining that no one was coming into his work, so I said maybe I would stop in, and he said, "and I'll tell you to leave."

So I went in, ate my custard, and left. But he did not tell me to leave.

So I should have won that argument, but of course he argued his way out of it. As usual. Someday I'll win an argument against him. We're kind of having an ongoing one, where he's trying to get me to say that I hate him, but it's not going to happen.

Anyway, yeah. That's about all I've got right now. Woo!

Robots in The Guys... Er... Something.

So, we watched (made fun of) Transformers 2 last night. Basically, there was not really a plot, or at least not a good one. "Let's show off girls and robots and explosions!" "Okay!"

That's how the script was written.

Also! My aunt and I are being Jessie and James from Pokemon for Halloween. We made our costumes today. It's gonna be awesome.

I'm gonna have a Halloween party, and I invited a bunch of people, so hopefully it will be fun. Should be interesting if all the guys show up... I invited A, B, D, N, and W. So this could get interesting. xD

Anyway, I need to go to sleep soon so I can wake up for my friend's missionary farewell tomorrow.

Back to the Drawing Board

Well, things aren't really going to work out between me and N. xD We were both kind of getting the vibe that we were more just friends than anything else. I'm just glad we were on the same page.

Speaking of back to the drawing board, yeah, I totally have a crush on A. We hung out for the first time in ages the other day at our friend Nick's house, and I was just hit by it again. We stood outside talking for like two hours after the party times were over.

UNFORTUNATELY, he says he's not going to go for girls he knows anymore. I keep hoping his mind will change, but I don't think it's likely. Although Nick knows that I have a crush on him, and he thinks we'd be perfect together, so he might try and arrange something. xD But I don't know.

So I think Chaos likes B, maybe a little. xD We talked about it for a minute today, while she was here for a "party." She could tell that he kinda likes her, and she was like, "Hey, I'm a girl. I like attention. And he seems cool." So B, if you're still reading, it's looking good. :D

Basically, I'm in the same freaking position I've been in for months. WOO! As my friend Nick put it when he found out W had a girlfriend, "Man, why does this always happen to Audrey?!"

Good question. >.<

Freakin' Out

So. Let's see. Where to start? xD

Okay, so yesterday, Monday, I was all excited to see N again. He got out of class at two, so I waited around the school for him. AF was in the student lounge and he came over to me. "huhuh i thot u wer hanging w/N today??!lol" (that's how he talks, in my head.) I was like, "Yeah, he's on his way over here." "u laek him?11lol" I rolled my eyes so he couldn't see and nodded a little. "wll thts cuul. huhuh."

So N texts me and is like, "Sorry, ran home to shower. On my way over." AF wanders over again soon after and says, "huhuh, N was in DA SHOWA. huhuh!1!1lol!!" ... "Yes... I know this..." "o. uh. hiihuh."

Then he went and complimented some girl's shoes. o_O

Anyway, so N finally gets to the cafe, and he had to buy AF food, because AF is a mooch. We sat there and ate, and then AF had class or something, and N and I went for an "adventure." The adventure was supposed to be driving around town getting job applications. Instead it ended up being "sit at Flying J for an hour and a half filling out an application that will be instantly rejected."

Following that, we were going to go back to his apartment for something a little more enjoyable, like a game. But of course it is right then that my sister calls and needs a ride home from volleyball. So basically he just dropped me off at my car, and we didn't even hug. BUT. He did give me cookies and fudge that he brought from home. I LOVE fudge.

So then today we got to hang out all day, at least after class and when I wasn't helping D with some homework. We ate at the cafe, messed around on his computer, watched T.V. with his roommate, and then... hm. First kiss time. xD

Well. While we were thus occupied, AF comes and knocks on the door. I should probably mention that AF is hooking up with a girl N hates. They had been by earlier in the day, and N had just ignored the knocking. Well, we ignored it this time too, but AF and girlsidekick come in through the bathroom which is connected to another apartment. Like, they just walk right in. And stand there. Staring at us. While I gather up my things and get ready to go to my night class. Talk about awkward and SUPER annoying. I think the girl was giggling, too. xP

Anyway, besides the whole SUPER RUDE AND ANNOYING interruption, today was pretty great! I did all that with N, and also helped D with some homework he had. Bros before hoes applies to female bros too. xD

A is giving up on girls (supposedly) and just wants to retire and live in his bed for the rest of his life. I think he'll probably get over it.

B is doing good, mostly. xD Apparently he's now reading this, so I'll have to be careful of what I say about him. He's such a nerd. :P (JK, B.) Anyway, we went to a movie, and Chaos came, and so far it is looking good, so I will try and get them at some parties and stuff soon. (run-on sentence much?)

C. Gah. I keep dreaming about him, which sucks. Mostly the dreams are just me not being able to talk to him, or him being like... in pain. Not really fun. ._.

D is doing good with Ali, and they're so cute together. xD

W is good with his girl, too, I guess. So that's good. He's a funny kid.

Anyway, I should sleep soon. Hahahaha. Yeah.

Grinning Like an Idiot

Basically, N and I have been texting all day the last couple days. He's so cute! And romantic! AND. He likes Phantom. <3 Plus. He made me cookies while he was at home. I won't see him until Monday, and I'm a little nervous about what will happen then, but I'm excited, too! Pretty much I'm still spazzing out in my head. I keep dancing all over the place. I'm trying to hide it from my family, but it's kinda hard when I'm grinning like an idiot and blushing. He called me gorgeous! :D xD

Yeah, spazzing. xD

In other news, A is having fun in Cali, it sounds like, so that's good. Maybe we'll hang when he gets back.

Also, might go see a movie tomorrow with B and Chaos, maybe a couple other friends. Still trying to hook them up. xD

Anyway. N. Awesome. xD

Butterflies

Okay, if you've been reading up to now, this post is going to come out of nowhere. Kinda came out of nowhere for me, too.

Okay, so. D's best friend T lives in the dorms on campus. I've known T since middle school, but we've never really been friends. So one day I'm sitting in the school cafe, eating lunch with D, when T and his roommate N join us. Almost immediately I was like, "Wow, who's the hottie with T?" We all ate lunch together, then walked back to T and N's apartment and hung out for a few minutes. Few days later, D tells me that N wants my number. I was kinda like, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" and D goes, "I didn't think you would think he was cute."

Anyway, so I kinda saw him a couple more times, eating with T, but we didn't ever really talk. Then, yesterday, I was eating with D when N and his Annoying Friend come in. They sat at the table next to us, and when D had to go to class, they invited me to sit with them. We talked for a while and ended up hanging out the whole day. I was flirting with N the whole time, and pretty much ignoring AF. We had a pillow fight. It was a blast.

It gets to be time for me to go to my night class, and AF goes, "Let's all exchange numbers!" So we did. Now, I wanted to give my number to N, but not so much AF. But he got it. He ended up calling me twice that night, and leaving a voice mail (all ignored). Anyway, I talked to N on Facebook that night, and he tells me how annoyed he was with AF, and we decide to hang out without AF. Flirting all the while, of course.

So today, I went to lunch with D, and then N texts me and invites me over. Of course, I go over. We played some games on the computer, and talked for a long time. Then he had to go to auto and I had to go to a ballroom lab.

Then! After his auto class he was leaving to go home for the weekend, to Mesquite. So at about eleven he texts me and says "Wow the stars look amazing here" (!!!) So I say, "Lucky, I love looking at the stars."

"Me to. Maybe one night we could get some blankets and go look at the stars."

Basically, I was freaking out in nervous excitement. We flirted more, we talked about how D and T want us to hook up and how that wouldn't be such a bad idea, we talked about how T thought we were making out today and how we don't want to disappoint him...

Unfortunately, he doesn't get back from Mesquite until Sunday night, so I won't see him until Monday. But I'm sure we'll be texting.

Really, the butterflies in my stomach are on something, because they are spazzing. Nervous excitement is fun.

As for the other boys, A is bummed because his best friend is leaving for a couple weeks. Might FINALLY get to hang out with him, if he's not being a punk. He's going to Cali this weekend though, so not for a while at least.

W. Man, he's so helpful. I never realized it until last night. He's always pushing me to do things I'm afraid of, or to do things he knows will help. He can be a bit of a d-bag about it, but I realize now that it's for my own good. He said that he's tried to help a lot of shy people like me, but I'm the only one he can stand to hang out with because I actually get it. So that's good. I also used the word pissy when I was talking to him. (Always fun.)

Gonna try and have a party (maybe bowling?) to hook up B and Chaos on Saturday, after B gets back from Vegas. Although I might postpone it until N gets back. That would be fun. :D

Pretty much, I feel so much happier than I did just days ago. Yay!

It's Not Healthy, It's What Makes You Right

I'm so sick of not talking to C. It kills me, seeing him almost every day, and him not talking to me. I want to tell him about Zombieland, which was an awesome movie I know he would love. I want to play video games with him. I want to talk to him. That's all. I just want to be friends again. I hate not talking to him. I hate it. I miss him.

I've been talking to A more, but mostly about the girl he likes, which is weird. He says she doesn't really want a boyfriend, but I think he's trying to change her mind. It's hard to talk to him about it when really I just want to be like, "Dude. I have a crush on you. I'm totally available." But I don't, because I'm like, 90% sure he doesn't think about me like that.

W is being weird, as usual. I don't even know what his deal is. Whatever.

Still trying to get B and Chaos to hang out, but my sisters have been sick this week, so I couldn't have a party. Now I think I'm sick, so I still can't have a party.

Life sucks sometimes.

Sore Throat

I think I'm getting sick, which sucks. Also, I'm getting a little sick of boys. I mean, I love them and all, but jeez. I don't even know.

A might be getting a girlfriend soon. It's weird to talk to him about it, but whatever. I'm getting used to it.

I mean, it's not like any of the guys I like like me anyway.

Da-da-da-da-da.

Okay, so I forgot to tell you that B asked about Chaos, if she was single. xD I told him she was, and I'm going to try and set them up without being obvious to her. So that should be fun, I'll probably have a party.

W is... gah, I don't even know. Haven't talked to him in a couple days. We'll see.

A is still being stubborn and kinda depressed. I wish he'd hang out with me, but I guess he never has time.

Anyway, blah. Gr. Rawr. Angry noises. Frustrated noises. Confused noises.

That is all.

Okay, Seriously, What's the Deal?

Okay. I'm 5'11", skinny, gorgeous, smart, funny, nice, I play video games, I put up with a lot of stuff most girls wouldn't, I'm totally laid back. So why in the world am I sitting at home alone on a Friday night? Oh yeah, because I'm cripplingly shy. And for some reason, the guys I like either like another girl more than me, or they just like me as a friend. Yeah, sure, there are guys who like me, but they're not the ones that I like. So... what? I'm doing something wrong, to make the guys I like not like me? I'm not as good as some other girl? Some other girl who will boss guys around and make them do all kinds of stupid stuff, and control them, and not play games with them, and not give them any free time, and take over their freaking lives? WTF is up with that?!

Just.

Gah.

Whatever.

Screw it. I'll just sit at home with my family, looking totally gorgeous because I thought I might get to hang out with someone.

Secretly, I'll be hoping someone will call or text or MSN me and tell me to hang out. But it's doubful. W's at a birthday party, D's at work, B's up north, and A was maybe going to a movie with someone. Ali's at work, The Twins are going to some kind of play or something.

And I'm just the loser sitting at home.

Braincake.

So, here's the deal. When I'm totally in a state of confusion, I call it braincake. It's like every thing or person that I think about is one of the ingredients. Like, the thing/person I think about most is the flour, than the sugar, and whatever, down to pinches of salt.

Right now, the flour and sugar are A and W. A I just don't know about. He seems depressed or something, and he might go up north for a couple weeks. I think he's having family issues. And he doesn't really want to talk about it, so I don't really know what's going on, or if I can help. I haven't hung out with him in ages, but he's always busy.

W. Oh man, I don't know where to start. I don't even know what to say. Gah. He's the flour right now. Just starting to think about him makes my head go "bleehhh..." because that's the noise it makes when it's overloaded.

Gah, I gotta go to bed. I have three tests and two classes tomorrow. And I'm starting to get a headache, and all I really want to do is cuddle up with W (right now) and go to sleep. But instead I have to sleep all alone in my cold bed and have nightmares. woo.