So apparently I don't write in this as much anymore! Weird. And the last time I wrote in my journal was, let's see.... March 25. The day I found out C was engaged. Weird, I didn't even realize that that was the day I stopped. D:
Oops, I really shouldn't go back and read my journal so much. xD
I really hate being home at night. For the last few weeks, I've been at B's for most of the night, and then I just pass out when I get home. But tonight he's in Vegas, so I had to come home after work. I just... I always get more depressed and sad at home.
But! I'm house-sitting for my boss this weekend, so for the next few nights I won't have to sleep at home. She has a theater room and an Xbox. :D I just have to watch her dogs and cats. Two of each, and they're pretty cute. The bulldog is slobbery though. D:
So, boytimes. I really like B. I like hanging out with him, and talking to him, and I just like... him. Really, the main reason I'm not "with" him is that I can't let go of some things. I still like W. I'm still (yes, still) heartbroken over C. I'm a depressed weirdo. But for right now, I'm happy with where I am with B. I like... how we are. I just hope he's okay with it.
W's a great friend, but I think that's all he wants. Which is okay. We played Call of Duty and Halo the other day. He smoked me, as usual. Then his ex came over, which was a little awkward. But playing video games is always fun. :D Pretty sure we're always just gonna be good friends. I just get the vibe that that's all he wants. Which gives me mixed feelings, because on the one hand, he's a great friend and I really like B. But on the other hand, I do really like W. So I dunno. Everything's up in the air, as usual.
Except I do really like B.
... A lot.
Also, I keep randomly having dreams about my friends Alex and Josef in Maryland. Mostly they involve Pokemon. Josef said they might come out here next spring break or something, which would be a BLAST(OISE). :D
Basically my life is work, sleep, hanging at B's, and occasionally hanging out with other people. Which I guess is okay, but I still just feel like something's missing.
Maybe it's me.
Like I said, I get more depressed when I have to be at home at night. Woo.
Tomorrow should be better though! B's going to take me to see Toy Story 3 after work. :D Then I can stay at my boss's house and play Xbox and watch movies and pet the kitties. :D
...
but tonight sucks.
Music
